Menopause is often associated with physical changes, including hot flushes and alterations in sexual desire. In fact, this life phase can encompass as many as 62 different symptoms, affecting individuals’ intimate lives. To navigate these changes, licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, Sofie Roos, offers valuable insights on maintaining a fulfilling sex life during and after menopause.
Roos emphasizes the importance of understanding and adapting to the shifts in desire and physical sensations that accompany this transition. Here are her seven key rules for enhancing intimacy during this time.
1. Embrace Changes in Desire
During menopause, individuals may experience fluctuations in their sex drive. Some may find their interest waning, while others might discover a newfound desire. Roos advises that rather than worrying about these changes, it is beneficial to view them as opportunities for exploration. “Accepting that things won’t be the same allows you to open the door to better pleasure than pre-menopause,” she explains.
2. Utilize Lubrication
Vaginal dryness is a common issue linked to decreased estrogen levels during menopause. This can make sexual activity uncomfortable, leading to reduced interest in intimacy. Roos recommends using high-quality, silicone-based lubricants liberally to mitigate discomfort and enhance pleasure. “Lubrication is your best friend,” she states.
3. Take Time for Foreplay
Research indicates that hormonal changes during menopause may require longer stimulation before sexual activity can become enjoyable. Roos suggests dedicating more time to foreplay, encouraging couples to explore sensual activities such as massages or prolonged kissing. She also highlights the potential benefits of incorporating sex toys, like vibrators, to enhance blood flow and sensitivity.
4. Rediscover Self-Exploration
Masturbation is an essential aspect of understanding personal pleasure, especially during menopause. Roos encourages individuals to experiment with various methods of self-stimulation, including reading erotic literature or watching different types of adult content. “Invest in sex toys and don’t hesitate to adapt your techniques based on what feels right,” she advises, emphasizing that patience is key in this journey of rediscovery.
5. Foster Open Communication
Effective communication with partners is crucial during this transitional period. Roos suggests discussing changing needs and preferences openly, which can help alleviate stress and anxiety surrounding intimacy. “It’s important to create an environment where both partners feel comfortable sharing what feels good and what doesn’t,” she says.
6. Incorporate Pelvic Floor Exercises
Strengthening the pelvic floor can significantly enhance sexual experiences during menopause. Roos points to a 2022 study demonstrating that pelvic exercises, such as Kegels, improve sexual function in menopausal women. “These exercises can lead to increased sensitivity and more pleasurable intimacy,” she notes.
7. Keep Playfulness Alive
Sex should be enjoyable, and Roos stresses the importance of approaching intimacy with a playful mindset. By shifting focus from performance to pleasure, individuals can foster a deeper connection with their bodies, no matter where they are in the menopausal journey. “The less pressure you feel, the easier it is to tap into your own desire,” she concludes.
These guidelines from Sofie Roos offer a roadmap for navigating the complexities of intimacy during and after menopause. By fostering open communication, embracing change, and prioritizing pleasure, individuals can enhance their sexual experiences and maintain fulfilling relationships.
