When Elizabeth Doherty reflects on the past eight Christmases, she sees a journey marked by profound loss and healing. After her husband, Colin, was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer in January 2017, the couple’s life took a tragic turn. Just eight weeks later, Colin passed away at the age of 74, leaving Elizabeth to navigate her grief alone.
In the wake of this heart-wrenching experience, Elizabeth found solace and purpose through volunteering at the Sue Ryder St John’s Hospice in Moggerhanger, Bedfordshire. Initially, she sought to express her gratitude for the care Colin received during his final days. “I really don’t know what I would have done without them,” she remarked, recalling the support she received during that difficult time.
Transforming Grief into Support
Elizabeth began her volunteer work in July 2017, just months after Colin’s passing. Since then, she has dedicated four days a week to welcoming visitors, answering phone calls, and providing essential support to staff. Her role extends beyond administrative tasks; she also leads grief sessions aimed at helping others cope with loss.
Each year, Elizabeth spends significant holidays at the hospice, including Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day. “I’m here more than I am at home. But that’s okay – it’s like a big family,” she shared during a recent conversation.
Her commitment to the hospice is driven by a desire to ease the experience for others in similar situations. Elizabeth recalls a moment when a patient was too frightened to enter the facility. With compassion, she approached the individual, offering a reassuring cup of tea and a promise of comfort. “I’m going to put you in a lovely room all to yourself,” she told him, helping to transform his apprehension into acceptance.
Creating Memories in Difficult Times
Elizabeth’s dedication extends to making the hospice feel like a home during the holidays. She decorates the facility and ensures that staff wear festive hats, creating a warm atmosphere for families. “We want them to smile and be happy,” she emphasized, recognizing the guilt that can accompany laughter during grief.
Over the years, she has played a vital role in organizing last-minute weddings, welcoming therapy animals, and coordinating special events to honor families. One poignant memory involves an elderly gentleman who, after losing his wife, returned each Christmas with flowers and decorations for her room. “It was an honor to help him with his loss,” Elizabeth noted, illustrating the deep connections formed within the hospice community.
Through her work, Elizabeth has developed friendships that transcend the grief she initially faced. She maintains contact with Tracy, the nurse who cared for Colin, and considers her colleagues a second family. “It’s like I have a second adopted family,” she explained, acknowledging the emotional challenges of the role while also finding fulfillment in helping others.
Elizabeth’s experience has underscored the importance of community support during times of loss. She understands the isolation that often follows a funeral, as friends and family return to their lives. “You’re on your own, and sometimes that’s when it hits you,” she said, reflecting on her own journey.
As this Christmas approaches, Elizabeth plans to visit her son in Wales only after completing her volunteer shifts. Following a busy day at the hospice, she intends to light a candle and raise a glass to Colin, maintaining a connection with him even in his absence. “I sit there and I talk to him all the time. He’s a mischief maker,” she said, finding comfort in the belief that he is still with her in spirit.
Elizabeth’s story illustrates the profound impact of community and the ability to transform personal grief into a source of strength for others. Through her dedication to the hospice, she continues to foster hope and comfort for families navigating their own journeys of loss during the holiday season.
